I love you.

I love you.

I started to fall for you last year. As the leaves started to turn, so did my feelings. I thought I got over it. It was a small and swift crush, and that was all.

I love you.

And yet, as fall comes knocking again, so do you. So pretty, with a hat and a broom. Black lipstick that made my heart melt. I stared even before we kissed. Did you notice? I think you might have.

I love you.

What was I thinking? That's the point; I wasn't. I knew of all the consequences and I still did it, encouraged by liquor and desire. It was new and exciting and wonderful and crappy. You tasted like sweet respite and sadness. Though, the sadness might have been my own.

I love you,

and I can't have you. It was a pact of convenience, that much was entirely too clear. Do you feel the same as I do? Even if you did, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose my best friend to the inevitable awkwardness that follows a breakup. I want to be around for you no matter what, but it really hurts.

I love you,

and that's why I'll play along. I'll pretend it wasn't a big deal. I'll pretend that everything is the same, but it's not. It will never be as it was again. I've noticed little things here and there. Are you trying to say something or is it wishful thinking?

I love you.

Please don't push me away. Even though it might be easier, please don't push me away. I want to say I wish it never happened, but I can't.

I love you.

Even though everything is complicated, I'm so happy I ever did get to kiss you, if only just once.

I love you.

And I wish you loved me too.