October 14, 2023 1:48 am - 1:57am
I'm not afraid of death.
I never have been.
I've danced in it's shadow,
And brought it out with me into the light.
Death is absolute.
It has but one variable.
One day we will wake for the last time.
I will wake for the last time.
No, I'm scared of life, I think.
Of living,
Breathing.
Trying new things.
I'm scared of the endless possibilities;
Even the ones I can't quite afford.
Even the ones I'll never partake in.
And everything in between.
God, I'm terrified.
That I'll live too "in the moment";
Forget everything important to me.
Forget who I am.
And I'm terrified that I might never live in the moment,
Never put myself out there.
Never truly know what it means to live.
I'm scared of life, living.
Breathing.
But that's what makes it all worth it.
That's what makes it so much better than surviving.