November 27, 2023 5:03am - 6:35am
You will not have my hate.
My sleep, all yours;
my tears.
And for whatever reason, my laughter, and smiles seem to stay consistent with the theme—
The obedient little miscreants that they are.
Loyal, even.
But loyal to the wrong cause:
A cause that deprives me of everything from happiness to my blood sugar levels.
That sinks its teeth in deep,
latching onto bone, and forever denying release.
Denying comfort; Tolerance.
You will not have my hate.
But forever enjoy the bittersweet taste of all that I've gained.
Of everything I've worked for, accomplished;
Everything I've lost, left unacknowledged.
Forever enjoy the overlapping cries of defeat.
The screaming sound that metal makes as the chains are shackled onto the weight meant to drag me to the bottom of the sea.
Every single memory that's ever burned its image into me;
The thoughts that bleed,
the ones that leak,
Blood splattered all over the blank page laid before me.
You can have it all.
They're yours to keep.
But my hate you cannot have.
It is mine, and mine alone.
I deserve some compensation for every time you made me feel like I could never be a home.
For every time that your words ripped me of my bones,
I'm fully grown—
Yet somehow, you make me feel like a stranger in my own skin.
Like it's some costume for a holiday no one ever bothered to believe in.
A blackboard messily erased clean,
No witnesses to the smudges, just lines drawn to hide what's underneath.
But you will not have my hate,
For it is all that's left of me.